A Clean Home vs. Following Your Dreams

J. Lo’s pretty and CLEAN house.
My number one dilemma in this season of my life, and I’m totally not even joking here, is to clean my house or follow my dreams. I know this sounds bizarre and cuckoo like no other but typing it out on the page makes it seem even weirder. 
All my life I have been a cleaner, a clearer-outer, a dumper, definitely NOT a hoarder. I’ve scrubbed friends refrigerators out since I was a wee lass (for fun mind you!). I’ve made chore charts for my kids. When we sold our last house I was on hands and knees cleaning out the sliding door railing with q-tips no less! I could go on and on. 
But honestly what is wrong with me? I’ve been in therapy ALOT! Lol and it goes something along the lines of liking to be in control of  my surroundings at all times. HMMMM…..maybe that’s why I don’t like to fly anymore, hello….so not in control of the airplane.
Which brings me to my current and lasting Forever dilemma. This cleaning habit of mine definitely does not allow for following my dreams. So what’s a girl to do? I do have cleaners 2x month. I even have a lady to do the laundry! (Thanks Martha…angel from Heaven). Honestly what do I do? I’ve tried ignoring it. I’ve tried handing out chores to the kids. I’ve even tried taking out all of the pretty things in my house so there is less to clean and organize. Just about all I can think of is to work outside of the home. Which brings me to the garage and when I go out there I end up cleaning that too! Yikes!!!
Does anyone else have this problema?

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